Grains of Sand

A poem I wrote in February.

I look down at the feelings I have for you

just holding them in one hand.

And as I question how it’s gotten to this,

And as I question how your love could change,

I start to feel the feelings slip through my fingers,

like delicate grains of sand.

I feel them trickle through each crack of my hand

and I start to panic

and my heart starts to race as I put my hand under,

attempting to save them.

Only I start falling back into the same pattern as they

slip slip slip

and I

catch catch catch.

And with each time this happens the pile I originally had

is slowly melting away.

I continue this ritual over and over

as I spastically look for you.

Seeing if you want to save these feeling just as bad as I do.

But you are nowhere to be found.

And as I continue to search for you,

longing for you to want me,

I hear the repetitive

slip slip slip

and the

catch catch catch.

And I’m out of breath

and I’m exhausted

with this failed attempt to find you

until I look down and realize that there is

one

grain

left.

I shout out your name one final time in hopes that

I’ll hear your footsteps running,

but the only thing I hear is the echo of my own voice

wrapping it’s frigid arms around my body.

And with that I gaze down at the grain,

And I slowly let it drop off my hands,

allowing it to give company to the rest of the feelings,

scattered all over the ground.

And as I start to walk away,

I hear my name being called distantly,

you’ve seen the grains,

you’ve seen the feelings,

but it’s too damn late.

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