When did I realize my relationship was over?
When the witty, sarcastic texts that were “intelligent”
were now recognized as rude.
When the late night phone calls that woke me up to chat
were now ignored.
When his horrible singing and guitar playing that was “just so cute”,
was now nothing but complete annoyance.
When the hours without response at work were tolerable,
were now intolerable.
When his anger and command “came from a caring” place
was now recognized as his own selfishness and insecurity.
When his indecisiveness meant that he was “open-minded and self reflective”
instead of just being a reckless asshole.
But when did I really realize that my relationship was over?
When I woke up knowing I couldn’t give a damn if he was in my life anymore.
Why do we do it ladies?
Why do we talk to our ex-boyfriends?
Maybe it was you reaching out to them to see if they’re the same or how they’ve been. Maybe it was them coming to you saying they missed you. And for a split second I bet you thought, it won’t hurt. It won’t matter talking to them this one time. You like the mystery of not knowing where it will go, the exhilarating feeling of not knowing where the conversation will take you. The thought of re-kindling could have even briefly crossed your mind. But deep deep down we all know that it’s a recipe for disaster.
You start talking and one of two things happens.
1. You develop a spark and continue to pursue it until one of you starts to remember the reason you broke up and old wounds are re-opened and it ends worse than the first time.
2. You realize how over it really is and how all feelings are dead because wow, he is an idiot.
Now I’m not saying that talking to every single ex you have will end this way or produce these results, because sometimes it can lead to a content place, even provide the closure you never had. But from my own experience, the majority never ends well with most ex’s and I can’t help but feel that I have a lot of lady-friends that can agree with me.
My business law professor once said, “Nothing good happens after 2am. If it’s past 2am and you’re up, just go straight to bed.” I find a correlation with what we need to remember about ex-boyfriends, girls. Nothing good is going to happen trying to re-kindle a past relationship (especially if it ended up badly), so let it go. No matter how curious you are, no matter what feelings are being brought back, save yourself the pain and the time. Walk away. Delete the text. Go to bed.
Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you.
Something I’ll never understand is when a guy says he’s ready to make you their everything but then goes behind your back and cheats. Uhm excuse me, no, you couldn’t even stay faithful or loyal, how could I ever be your everything?
Not only are you a horrible person for stabbing me in the back and cheating but now you’re a liar on top of it.
I think one of the saddest things is when two people really get to know each other: their secrets, their fears, their favorite things, what they love, what they hate, literally everything, and then they go back to being strangers. It’s like you have to walk past them and pretend like you never knew them, never even talked to them before, when really, you know everything about them.