20 things to know before 20.

1. Appreciate your dad, you don’t know what will happen.
2. If you don’t want to wear make up, don’t. For Christ sakes, you’re young and beautiful. Society can go fuck their self.
3. It’s really okay to love yourself. Appreciate the funny curve of your nose, and that gap in your teeth make your smile prettier. Just because you don’t look like that girl in the magazine doesn’t mean you can’t tell yourself you’re beautiful every now and then.
4. Do what makes you happy. I know you’ve heard this a million times, but I can’t stress this enough. Go after your dream job even if it goes against every thing your parents wanted. If you don’t like where you live, move. Your friends don’t make you laugh until your sides hurt? You don’t have to be friends with them anymore. You’re in control. No one else. Don’t fall under the pressure of pleasing people. Please yourself and live for you.
5. Love who you want. Regardless of gender, skin color, or societal views. Please never give up true love because you’re scared. Love is a beautiful, beautiful thing, and if you’re lucky enough to come across it don’t you dare walk away from it because of what others will think. Take the looks, the whispers, and the criticism with a smile, grab your lovers hand, and if you’re feeling extra happy, kiss them for the world to see. Let me tell you, the world is only jealous because they simply can’t understand.
6. Take long showers and lay on your bed naked after, sing too loud, sleep through your classes one day, and another day just don’t leave the couch. It’s okay to just decide you don’t have responsibilities for a little bit. Everyone needs a day ever so often to just relax. It’s okay to be lazy. It’s okay to sleep for 12 hours straight. It’s okay to go to bed at 6 AM because you’re reading and wake up at 3 the next day. Treat yourself, but most importantly love yourself enough to give yourself time to breathe.
7. Alone time is good for the soul. I truly believe that. I think it’s good to cancel your plans sometimes, close your door, turn off your phone, and play some John Mayer (or whatever your prefer). Maybe you could read a book, or hell even write one if you’re up for it. But take some time to yourself and learn to be happy with just you and the sound of your breathing. At the end of the day, you are the only person that is guaranteed to stick around, so you might as well learn to enjoy the way laugh at your own jokes or the way you pronounce words when you read aloud. Being comfortable alone is more important than you know.
8. It’s okay to be 20 and still love Disney movies. It’s not even a guilty pleasure. Everyone has their favorite whether they admit it or not.
9. Do not compromise who you are to impress someone else. You are a wonderfully constructed individual. Your trials, experiences, and life all together have sculpted you into the most lovely version of you possible. If a person doesn’t like the way you live, from your sex life to your music taste, who cares? You were not put on this earth to impress them, or anyone for that matter. Impress yourself. Stick to what you want, stand up for what you believe, and tell people to screw off if they have an issue with any of it. It’s your life.
10. High school does not in any manner prepare you for college. One time my teacher dismissed class early because a kid fell down the stairs and he was laughing too hard to continue the lecture. That’s all I have to say about that subject.
11. I know you’re making a ton of new friends at this stage in your life, but don’t forget whose been there from the start. Your new friends may be exciting and wonderful and the best friends you could imagine but the ones that knew you back in middle school and were still there for you are genuine. If they loved your through your awkward phase, they’re probably in it for the long run. So send some love their way ever so often. When you’re older, you’ll be glad you did.
12. Your mom will probably cry a lot during the next few years. Let her. Hug her. Cry with her. She just wants you happy at the end of the day. You’re growing up, and life’s exciting, but you have to remember that you’re her baby, and the more you find yourself, the more she feels she’s losing you. I know you’re getting older, but so is she. Spend Sunday afternoons telling her about your life or reading her your new poetry. She’ll appreciate that so much, and you will too later on.
13. It’s okay to get drunk. Whether it be just for fun or that you need liquid courage to text an ex, it’s completely fine. And you know what else is completely fine? Not getting drunk. It’s okay to be the mom, the DD, or to not even show up to the party at all. It’s all okay. But you know what isn’t? Judging whatever decisions your peers make. So what there was a photo posted and that girl you went to high school with was wasted? It’s not really any of your business is it. And if that guy decided to go to that poetry reading and skipped the biggest party of the year, It’s really not effecting you at all, so don’t act like it does.
14. Stop glamorizing sadness. Sadness is not beautiful. It does not glow. Disorders are not something to make light of, and scars are not something to be ignored. Be proud of who you are. Eat that hamburger, and put the razor down. And most importantly, smile. Happiness is by far the most beautiful thing about a person.
15. It will all be okay at the end of the day. Life has a funny way of working out.
16. Speaking of funny, life literally never goes as planned. Don’t waste your time fretting over the future. Faith and destiny work hand in hand to make sure life keeps you on your toes.
17. Karma is a real and powerful thing. Please try to keep it on your side. Your bad deeds catch up with you in a big way. Take your time to build up your good karma, and do some good for other people, even if the deeds are small. Put a quarter in an expired parking meter, serve food at a homeless shelter, or go visit an elderly person at the nursing homes. Good deeds are good for others, and good for your soul.
18. You can never go wrong with pizza.
19. Don’t wish your years away. I know you’re at that age where you’re responsible for your choices, but aren’t really considered an adult but you’ll want these years back. Being young is the most fantastic, exciting adventure you will ever endure. And when you get older you’ll wish for these years back, even all the bad days that came along with it. So enjoy your youth, relish in it. Because you will never be younger than you are right this second.
20. And lastly, if you ever feel unloved and worthless, just know I love you and find the upmost worth in you. You’re destined for big things, now go get them.”
20 things I think you should know before you turn 20

Quote Lover

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So today in class there were a few presentations that used quotes and I thought I would share with all of you since you guys already know I’m such a quote fanatic with all of my picture and tumblr posts….

“Courage does not always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.”

“An amazing thing happens when you get honest with yourself and start doing what you love, what makes you happy.

Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You stop merely looking forward to special events.

You begin to live in each moment and you start feeling like a human being.

You just ride the wave that is life, with this feeling of contentment and joy. You move fluidly, steadily, calm and grateful.

A veil is lifted, and a whole new perspective is born.” —I specifically loved this one, because I think I have grown this semester more than I have during any other and the way it’s described just completely resonates with my transformation.

“She was fierce.  She was strong.  She wasn’t simple.  She was crazy and sometimes she barely slept.  She always had something to say.  She had flaws and that was okay, and when she was down she got right back up.  She was a beast in her own way, but one idea described her best: she was unstoppable.  And she took anything she wanted with a smile.”

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”

Ugly Society that Defines Beauty

“Girls are raised in a society where flattering clothing means clothing that makes you look skinnier. Where fat is an insult more often than a noun and not just a physical description but a reflection of personality. Where “you look healthy” is what you say when a girl gains weight, but “you look good” is what you say when a girl loses weight. Girls are raised in a society that teaches them it is their own responsibility to be as small as possible because they do not deserve to take up space.”

Easter and Farts.

I’ll start with what my dad repeated about 3 times on the way to church and I failed to respond to because it was 7:45am.

“Christ has risen!”  Only my mom responds…”He is risen indeed, Hallelujah!” Yeah. 3 times, every time hoping I’d jump out of maxi dress and scream it loud and proud but no cigar.

But despite it being so early, I love my church on Easter.  They literally have dozens and dozens and of flowers on the alter and just walking into the church smells (and looks) like a beautiful spring garden.  I also love my little cousins, especially 4 year old Livia and in church where there is no logic in whispering or talking quietly.  She was going back and forth between my mom and me until my mom had to go help with communion so it was just Livia and me.  To keep her occupied she was sitting on my lap and was letting her play with my hair tie.  I would put my hands together like a shark and let her tie the hair band around the “mouth”.  It was all going fine until she shoved the headband in between my thumbs and the shark would “burp” the hair tie out.  (It’s very hard to describe without showing with my hands but hopefully you’re getting the picture.)  Unfortunately I made a mistake, without thinking, and made a small raspberry noise as I pushed the hair tie back out of my hands.  Livia viciously turned around and yelled “HEY YOU FARTED THAT THING RIGHT OUT”.  I swear to God the people next to me had to get their necks checked out for damage and whiplash the way they turned so fast to look at us.  Trying my best not to burst out laughing (and turning bright red) I shushed Liv and whispered that we should 1. not yell in church and 2. if we are going to yell and break rule 1 we probably shouldn’t yell fart in church.  However, she was too busy looking at the people next to us and yelled again “WHAT?” as they continued to stare.  I was literally doing everything in my power to make sure that I would not laugh and encourage the behavior, so I literally took her cheeks and moved her head so she was looking at me and told her to be polite.

So that was utterly hilarious and probably one of my favorite parts of Easter other than being with my family and my aunt Lou for the rest of the day.

 

Holy cow though, there is no question now that Livia and I are related.

Here are some pics from Easter break!

Went downtown to Brother’s and Trinity:

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Finally tried the waffle taco, for the first and last time since my arteries were crying.

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My Beautiful Church, St. Matthews

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At Aunt Lou’s!

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The Lost is Found

I’m not going to go into the fact that I haven’t been on here in a while but I swear I did not forget about my wordpress family.  I’ve been really missing blogging but my last semester of senior year has been insane….beyond insane….but I have wanted to get back into my blogging for a while now so why not take advantage of my least favorite class and get back into it? (sorry mom)

And guess what, 37 days left until I graduate.  When someone said yesterday, “Hey guess what, we have 38 days left!”  I responded saying, “Oh, so 38 school days left,” with a laugh.  Only to be corrected in saying 38 DAYS LEFT UNTIL THE ACTUAL COMMENCEMENT.  Where have the past 4 years gone?!  Now I’m not going to get all mushy (yet) by writing my feelings out about leaving the Twin Cities but there will absolutely be a tearful, cheesy, post when the end is finally here.

 

I need to work on some major stuff tonight but I’ll be back soon enough and getting back to my grind 😉

 

EL SALVADOR

Oh my lanta!

Hello people.  I have not been on here for a very long time and it makes me mad, but I can promise you that I have been insanely busy and tomorrow is the day that I leave for El Salvador.  In El Salvador I’ll be going on a mission trip with people from my church (college kids and adults).  I went back in January 2011, so it ain’t my first rodeo but no mission trip is exactly alike.  I’m going to try and post things every single day to record parts of my trip (and to get back into the blogging spirit).  So check it out if you want to 🙂

Basically we are going there because my church has a partnership with a church in El Salvador.  The reason we go is to “build relationships” which many people struggle to understand.  I mean sure, sometimes we endure physical labor, but what’s most important is communicating and being with the people of El Salvador.  Spring semester last year I wrote a blog about Oscar Romero that I’ll share:

“It was on April 21, 2013.

SALVADORAN ARCHBISHOP OSCAR ROMERO

“Peace is not the product of terror or fear. Peaceful is not the silence of cemeteries. Peace is not the silent result of violent repression. Peaceful is the generous, tranquil contribution of all to the good of all. Peace is dynamism. Peace is generosity. It is right and it is duty.”-Archbishop Oscar Romero

Last Wednesday in my Justice and Peace theology class, we watched the movie “Romero”.  And in the beginning of the class I silently thought to myself “should I just leave when they start the movie? I’ve already seen it a few times…”  But my guilty conscious made me stay and I sat through the film.  I don’t know what it was about this time watching the movie, but I was left speechless.  Don’t get me wrong, every time I’ve watched it I’ve gotten goosebumps since I did mission work in El Salvador in 2011, trying to promote non-violence.  And every single time I’ve watched it, I’ve felt a connection since I had been with the people, heard their grueling stories, and actually participated in the wreckage.  But this time was different.  When the movie ended, it’s like the whole room felt it too and nobody moved.  We all just sat in silence in the dark as the credits flashed on the projector.  I looked down and realized my hands were shaking and tears were running down my face.  It seemed like time had stopped until my professor got up and turned on the lights, and she was getting emotional.  She stood in front of our class, crying as well, and said, “So many lives were lost in the El Salvadorian war, so many injustices took place, but you need to know that this happens every single day.  I’ve been hungry.  I’ve watched people die.  And it IS REAL.  This isn’t just a film we’re watching for class.”  Her words echoed throughout the classroom, as all of us just stared.  I wanted to participate or say something but words just couldn’t come out, and even if they did they wouldn’t justify what I was feeling.  As we packed up, my professor apologized for getting emotional and that she usually doesn’t get like that, since she had seen the movie so many times.  I completely understood what she was feeling, so me being awkward me, I just walked up and hugged her.  I didn’t have words, and sometimes a hug can speak more than anything.  I thanked her for sharing her thoughts and the film and then I left, my head spinning.

For a few weeks now I have been questioning where I’m going, and what I’m being called to do.  The pressures of growing up are starting to cave in—one year until graduation…  It’s hard to comprehend.  I’ve had this internal struggle asking myself what I want, what God wants, what others want, and what will make me happy.  The more I wonder and spend time praying and contemplating I keep realizing that I love helping people.  I have such strong passions about equality, human rights, and love, that I feel the path of my life starting to twist.  I want to make a positive difference in this world.  I want to be like Oscar Romero, helping people in need and serving others, inspiring people to keep going even when they’re being persecuted.  I want to show people that they aren’t alone, and they never will be.

The questions that keep playing in my mind are: will I really be satisfied just getting pushed into a company?  What if I can’t find a company that correlate with my morals and values?  What if I’m suppose to be doing mission work and using my business skills in that way?  Could I get a job in some sort of business and then just volunteer as a hobby?  Possible work for non-profit?  I just don’t know and my future is honestly filled with the unknown….. so the plan is for me to start volunteering more, and obviously finishing up my college year strong.  Until then, just going to look and pray for guidance….”

It’s crazy that I’m going back, with more knowledge about El Salvador than I’ve ever had before.  And comically, I’m dealing with the same questions that I had last April.

Something that stuck with me that my Pastor said was, “don’t go into this thinking you’re the treasure, thinking YOU’RE going to be the one coming to save them.  Go into it looking for the treasure.  You will get so much more out of it looking to learn and looking for it throughout the people.”  That’s what I plan on doing.  I’ll keep you guys posted.  I’m ready to serve the people of El Salvador.